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The primary mistake the codependent makes is to give the benefit of the doubt to the narcissistic partner because it is so hard to fathom someone could be so selfish and unyielding. The good news for the codependent is that there is hope for recovery once they fully understand that the narcissist lacks that ability of compassion, which defines us as humans.
Codependents lack a healthy relationship with self.
They are prone to put others first before their own needs. Narcissists also have an unhealthy relationship with self. They use others toward their own ends and exploit relationships without feelings of guilt or remorse.
It is like two pieces of the puzzle coming together. If you have one parent who is narcissistic you are likely to become either codependent or narcissistic yourself.
If you have two narcissistic parents the same holds true.
Want to venture a guess as to the odds for those in early recovery who test this cardinal rule Despite one's best laid plans or intentions to not re-enact the same dysfunction and failures of previous relationships, the odds are overwhelmingly against the relationship -- doomed to be dysfunctional or have a shortened life expectancy.