Hilarious dating profile examples

by  |  18-Jun-2016 14:13

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My fairy tale prince is somebody who is tall, nice, and is willing to be roofied and anally penetrated by the second date. Swipe right ;)If you can’t handle me at my worst, then leave because I don’t have a best. Just your typical docile, subservient oriental girl wanting to help quell a white boy’s yellow fever. I have an AMD graphics card, so you can say I’m used to things getting hot quickly. Team Leader / Party Starter (also see: bacon enthusiast, beard grower, semi-professional high fiver)I’m 6’3″ and will put you on my shoulders at concerts.

I can be a handful, topped with sarcasm and sprinkles of bullshit. Our relationship should be like Nintendo 64–classic, fun to spend hours with, and every issue easily fixed by blowing on it then shoving it back in. I’m not good at taking off bras so don’t worry, I won’t ask you for casual sex.

I am sure that you have already found this about two hundred times in all the other profiles. First Date: I don’t think it matters what we do on a first date, and I am a big fan of simplicity, so a coffee and walk would be just fine.” This is just one example of a profile that will stand out as different and arguable better than most other pages written by guys on the online dating sites.

I believe that words are cheap, but actions speak much louder, so why bother? It has a strong, unique beginning, interesting content, and a few questions at the end to “help” a woman start her response.

Just as if I was preparing for an exam, I wrote succinct notes on every great line or piece of advice in those thousands of posts ,which then became my Tinder cheat-sheet. You only get three great women in your life, my mom and grandma are two, you’ll be the third. Send me an emoji that represents our first date, I’ll send you an emoji that represents our future I’m banking on your standards being a lot lower than mine.“Sometimes life hands you lemons that are worth 2 in the bush, I like puppies.”I’ll write to you every day for a year. I’m a highly motivated, controlling, narcissistic asshole with bad grammar… It’s all on the list so you can use these messages to date and hookup with beautiful Tinder girls tonight.

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