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Pretty much from middle-school onwards, jealousy defined the majority of my waking life.Everywhere I looked, other people had what I thought I wanted in life.
So as we’re sitting together on my couch, watching my TV, I’m feeling irritation bubble up within me as I watch her lean in to say something, the way they’d smack each other on the shoulder and give one another side-hugs.
By the time the show ended – not a moment too soon – I was too angry to do anything; I claimed that something I ate was disagreeing with me, thanked them for coming and told my ex that we’d try again another day.
Watching happy couples would alternately make me feel lonely and almost sick with envy.
Watching movies meant watching people with lives – and relationships – that I wished better than I did.
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