Rules dating recovering addict
Recovering addicts hear this all the time in 12-step programs.
However, this sound bit of wisdom is rarely heeded.
As long as I'm not using and we're not using and are in a program, I'm safe. Getting into an intimate relationship prematurely is, as my mother would say, "Ill-conceived, ill-advised and ill-consummated." Odds are more than fifty percent of marriages will end in divorce for the general population.
Want to venture a guess as to the odds for those in early recovery who test this cardinal rule Despite one's best laid plans or intentions to not re-enact the same dysfunction and failures of previous relationships, the odds are overwhelmingly against the relationship -- doomed to be dysfunctional or have a shortened life expectancy.
She didn't want to end up calling him before he called her, but she just couldn't wait.
There were other indications of emotional over-involvement.
At the 5 month point of a sustained period of "relationship abstinence", Linda, a recovering alcoholic, proceeded to date a man, Jack, whom she met at a 12-Step meeting. After approximately 5 dates during 3 weeks of dating him, the "writing was on the wall." Linda had sex with him on the third date, which felt like quite an accomplishment that she was able to wait "so long." When I asked her to assess the level of her emotional involvement, she thought about it awhile before saying in a tone of wonderment, "Not too much I hope.