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by  |  11-May-2016 15:01

If a relationship brings more pleasure than discomfort, then we find ourselves drawn to them and want that relationship to continue.

I can’t stress enough how important non-verbal communication is when it comes to making a positive connection with somebody.

It may be regional – people from Manhattan, the outer boroughs and New Jersey, for example – it may be an extroverted trait, or it may simply be that your brain runs faster than your mouth and you’re forever playing catch-up as your thoughts rocket along.

Speaking for myself: I start talking faster the more excited (or nervous) I get; when I get on a roll, I can give the Micro-Machines guy The problem is that when we speak quickly, it feels as though we’re trying to put one over on the person we’re talking to; we can’t dazzle them with our brilliance, so we want to baffle them with our bullshit.

We’re playing to an audience, even if that audience is just the people from high-school that we’ve reconnected with because we wanted to see if they were still hot and/or single.

for this beyond everyone being profoundly self-involved: as it turns out, talking about ourselves literally makes us feel good.

Instead, you want to angle yourself slightly away from them, which feels more accommodating and friendly.

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