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I’m not trying to answer the question how often should married couples have sex–I tackled that here–I want to look at the broader issues so that we can come to that conclusion ourselves, as a couple. Often in Christian circles, when things start spiraling downward about this frequency of sex issue, someone will pull out 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, which says: Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.He stopped, because he was upset that I wanted just sex, and didn’t want to [please him in other ways first].
Of COURSE you can explain to her why sexual rejection hurts.
But here’s a little clue (again from the ‘stating the obvious’ files): why do I enjoy nothing more than making love with my husband? Why am I keen to give him pleasure even if I’m occasionally not in the mood or unable to participate myself?
Of COURSE, a sexless marriage has problems that need addressing.
Of COURSE you should ask if you want more/different sex to be happy.
And that’s my point of contention today: too often these verses are used as weapons, which makes sex into simply an obligation. And so I believe that these verses include some wrestling. I believe many people interpret this verse to mean refuse. If I were to say to you, “do not deprive your child of good food,” what am I implying?